Tag: funny

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AM I THE ONLY ONE . . . who has a list of do’s and don’ts in their head?

Donna Chandler

Donna’s Do’s and Dont’s

I have a lengthly list of items I’ve put together over the years. Here a just a few (perhaps I’ll add more from time to time.)

1.   A kiss is required after each ‘I love you.’

2. The 5 second rule states that if a treat (cookies, etc.) falls on the floor, as long as you get it picked up within 5 seconds, it hasn’t gathered any germs and  can be eaten.

3.   Calories fall out of broken cookies/cakes/pies/etc.

4.   Any baked goods on the Sale Rack have lost their calories.

5.   Birthday cakes absolutely do NOT contain calories.

6.   When a couple is walking, the man should walk closest  to the street.

7.   Do NOT talk to someone when they are in the bathroom.

8.   Always be on time. If you’re going to be late, STAY HOME.

9.   We only have so many heartbeats, don’t waste them on exercise.

10. Do not go grocery shopping when you’re hungry.

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AM I THE ONLY ONE . . .  who has a sweetheart with a warped sense of humor?

Donna Chandler
By: Donna Hale Chandler

I could give you many examples of what I’m referring to and perhaps some will appear in our blog or on our podcast at a later date, but for now, I will relive a recent trip to the airport.

We had an early morning flight and were rushing through the terminal to get to our gate.  As usual my sweetheart’s longer legs and faster pace put him a few feet ahead of me.  Our time was running short so I was trying my best to keep up as I pulled my carry-on bag along. 

Sweetheart had just gotten off the moving walkway and I was actually catching up.  As I step from the walkway, I stumbled a bit but quickly regained my footing. Without missing a beat or cracking a smile, Sweetheart called loudly over his shoulder, “I TOLD YOU, YOU SHOULDN’T DRINK SO MUCH BEFORE BREAKFAST!”

I probably left skid marks as I came to a screeching halt sending imaginary daggers at his head.  It felt as if the entire airport was suddenly frozen, people stopped, the silence was deafening and I had no witty remark to throw back at him.

However, he knows all about ‘pay backs’ and I never forget because I owe him several.  Then again, what would I do without him?  I have to admit, there is never a dull moment and he makes me smile everyday.