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AM I THE ONLY ONE . . .  who occasionally finds inspiration in the misfortune of others?

A few years back, country music superstars Blake Sheldon & Miranda Lambert were married to each other.  For whatever reason, they decided to part ways.  At that time, they were both at the top of the charts with nearly every song they put out, and truth be known, they both still seem to have a new song near the top of the charts several times every year. 

Anyway, after hearing about their parting of ways, I wrote the following poem.  It’s not really about them, but it was inspired by them…

*******

WORN OUT LOVE
©By: R.L.KingFrom the book Memories & Time ©2017

They had a good run,
each hitting number one,
and each, winning many awards.
Artist of the year,
lots of fans to cheer,
and each, playing all of the cords.

They moved from the mountains,
to a lake with some fountains,
and a beautiful house on the shore.
Somebody cheated,
things got heated,
now they’re together no more.

Two successful careers,
leaving only time to cheer,
yet many opportunities to cheat.
Running so fast,
no way it could last,
many nights, dead on their feet.

Now single again,
many awards yet to win,
they’re singers without a song.
A soiled dove,
lovers no longer in love,
though it won’t be that way for long.

*********

Gramps use’ta say
©R.L.King2012 #263

About: Being a Jerk

In our neck-o-the-woods,
iffin ya was askin fer it,
somebody was always fixin
to see to it ya got it.”

********

EDITOR’S NOTE:  Please check us out at:

http://www.amazon.com/author/richard-lee-king/
amazon.com/author/donnachandler

Kindle versions of most of our books are available at only 99 cents.

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AM I THE ONLY ONE . . . who has a list of do’s and don’ts in their head?

Donna’s Do’s and Dont’s

I have a lengthly list of items I’ve put together over the years. Here a just a few (perhaps I’ll add more from time to time.)

1.   A kiss is required after each ‘I love you.’

2. The 5 second rule states that if a treat (cookies, etc.) falls on the floor, as long as you get it picked up within 5 seconds, it hasn’t gathered any germs and  can be eaten.

3.   Calories fall out of broken cookies/cakes/pies/etc.

4.   Any baked goods on the Sale Rack have lost their calories.

5.   Birthday cakes absolutely do NOT contain calories.

6.   When a couple is walking, the man should walk closest  to the street.

7.   Do NOT talk to someone when they are in the bathroom.

8.   Always be on time. If you’re going to be late, STAY HOME.

9.   We only have so many heartbeats, don’t waste them on exercise.

10. Do not go grocery shopping when you’re hungry.

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AM I THE ONLY ONE… who has relied upon the Daniels Boys to relieve his pain every now and again?

Most times the prettiest chick ain’t the one you should pick.  Unless you got a lot going for you….  money, looks, or you’re well hung.  

The problem with pretty chicks is everybody notices them, especially all the other guys.  You have to constantly measure up because there are dozens of other options ready and willing to step into your shoes, given the slightest opening.

So, if you’re going to get the prettiest chick you better have something she wants besides all that personality you’ve been throwing about for everyone to enjoy.  Otherwise, you’re likely to find yourself partying with the Daniels Boys, like me.

THE DANIELS BOYS
(Charlie & Jack)
©By: R.L.King – From the book Wanderin & Wonderin ©2012

Headin down old Dixie, the beach in my rear-view mirror,
all that shit she was a spoutin, couldn’a made it any clearer.

Our love is ancient history and I’ve earned my PHD
 and though I’m not yet over her, I’m expectin soon to be.

I’m headin fer a “Honky Tonk,” and I won’t be going back.
I’ll be hangin with the Daniels boys, my buddies, Charlie and Jack.

I can’t believe she’d drop me for such an ugly guy,
but I was so pissed off, I didn’t wait to find out why.

He must be hung like horse, or have pockets full of cash,
but soon he’ll be findin out, she’s an expensive piece of ass.

As for Me, I’ll be at the Boardwalk and I won’t be comin back,
I’ll party hearty with the Daniels boys, my buddies, Charlie and Jack.

I’ll crank up the juke box, listen to Charlie play his fiddle,
throw back a couple mind erasers, with a Black Jack in the middle.

The world’s a better place, once you develop the knack,
of partyin with the Daniels boys, my buddies,,,,, Charlie and Jack.

********

Gramps use’ta say
©R.L.King2012 #505

About: Frustration

“Sometimes I need a little more Jack
…and a lot less Jesus.”

EDITOR’S NOTE: Please check us out at:.   

http://www.amazon.com/author/richard-lee-king/
amazon.com/author/donnachandler

Kindle versions of our books are available at only 99 cents.

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AM I THE ONLY ONE…who saw through the scam?

Get a Job Scammer
By: Donna Hale Chandler

I’m not completely stupid.  I know there are crooks out there in the big bad world, but I had no idea that there were sooooo many!

A few years ago, I moved from my comfy little one-bedroom condo into the home of my sweetheart. We did not make this decision on a whim and had discussed the pros and cons for quite a while. For Dick, the most rewarding ‘pro’ was that he would no longer be forced to make the long 10.9-mile drive to see me. Yes, I’m serious. He truly checked it and it was exactly 10.9 miles from his driveway to mine, and this very nearly was a deal-breaker when we first met.

But that is not the purpose today’s message.  Today I want to let you know that crazy, bad guys are out there walking amongst us. Scammers who spend more time and energy on their latest and greatest scam then most people do at their ordinary job. It’s a sad state of affairs that some of these people are very smart and if they’d only use a portion of that intelligence in a positive way, the world would be a much safer and happier place.

After the move into Dick’s home with a real front and back yard, I investigated the cost of listing my little condo for rent in the local newspaper. The price was amazingly expensive, so I instead listed it, complete with pictures, on Craig’s List. Ahhhh, I can see that some of you are already clicking your tongue and saying, “Silly woman, what was she thinking?” I’ll tell you exactly what I was thinking. I was thinking that Craig’s List costs exactly $0.00 for a 30-day listing and that was exactly what I was willing to spend.

I read all the instructions and warnings, but I was only offering a rental. How could that bring any unsavory characters into my life?

First my email box was immediately filled with offers to list my property here, there and everywhere else. Spam flew my way like bees to honey. I had a few inquiries that seemed legitimate, and I diligently answered each question, offering to make that 10.9-mile drive to show my condominium to anyone interested.

Then came the email that seemed almost frantic in the writer’s need to find a residence. It seems that this young man (or old, oily, deviant for all I know) was working in a foreign country.   He was employed with a major corporation of some sort and even provided me with an impressive-sounding name of the business. He stated that he was thrilled to find my ad because he was being transferred to my area within the next few days and would need a home immediately. He went on to tell a little about himself, that he was a non-smoking executive and very able to pay the amount of rent I was asking.

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE! This major corporation that employed him would be paying his moving expenses, the security deposit and his first month’s rent. (Now, isn’t that just wonderful?) HOWEVER, the company would be issuing him ONE check for the total amount of the cost of his move. Being the nice guy that he was and wanting to put me at ease that he was trustworthy; he was willing to send me the entire check. I could keep the security amount and first month’s rent and wire the remaining back to him. And please, Mam, keep enough to cover any wire transfer fees. 

My mamma would have been proud of her eldest daughter because I immediately saw through this ruse. Anger consumed me and steam started to creep from my ears. How dare he?!? I’m just an ordinary old lady, trying to get through each day. How dare he try to cheat me?!? The longer I stared at his slimy email the madder I became. I finally hit the Reply Key and sent my response to him: GET A REAL JOB, SCAMMER AMD STOP TRYING TO CHEAT YOUR WAY THROUGH LIFE.

 A few days later, after I’d calmed down a bit; I thought it would probably be wise to alert the local authorities of what had happened. The response from law enforcement, “I believe that Craig’s List warns against scammers.” I’m not quite sure what I expected but that callous response wasn’t quite it.

Moral of the story: Sadly, we have to be on constant alert. Complete trust needs to be earned and should be reserved for only our very best of friends.

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AM I THE ONLY ONE . . .  who met his perfect match?

I was a single man for a good many years after my wife’s passing and it’s no secret that I dated a number of wonderful women during that time, but for one reason or another none of those relationships ever came close to turning into evermore. 

Then, one day, all that changed and it seemed we knew it almost immediately.

SWEETIE
©By: R.L.KingFrom the book Memories & Time ©2017

He met his perfect match; she fits him like a glove
and it didn’t take him long to believe that it was love.

Since they met, she’s yinged his yang, she’s the booga to his loo
She’s been the versa to his visa, in everything they do.

She’s always the ebb to his flow, the refreshment with his ice
and everything they do, she makes it twice as nice.

He’s Desi to her Lucy ,,,, Sonny to her Cher.
no matter when he needs her, always she is there.

She’s the hoot to his holler, or is that the holler to his hoot?
She’d be the one to toot his horn, had he a horn to toot.

She’s the switch that turns him on, the power to his steering,
and when he writes his verses, always she is cheering.

She’s given reason to his life, which, maybe he was lacking,
whatever his endeavor, he relies upon her backing.

He met his perfect match, she fits him like a glove
and it didn’t take him long,,, to believe that it was love.

********

Gramps use’ta say
©R.L.King2012 #540

About: Hope

“Small steps can lead to
accomplishing big dreams.”

********

EDITOR’S NOTE: Please check us out at:   

http://www.amazon.com/author/richard-lee-king/

amazon.com/author/donnachandler

Kindle versions of most of our books are available at only 99 cents.