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RUSH HOUR TRAFFIC
By: Richard L. King

Why do so many of us old farts find that we have to be out on the streets during RUSH HOUR. We’ve been retired forever, we have all day to do whatever it is that’s so important to get us out on these roads, but we find that the only convenient time to do whatever it is that we have to do is during the hours when all those poor working stiffs are trying to get to or from work. We’re probably rushing off to the restaurant to be the earliest bird in the hope that there might be a PRE-early bird special. Either that or it’s during lunch time for all those working stiffs and we simply have to go to lunch at the exact same time as we always have, no matter that we haven’t worked in years.

That’s maddening enough, but couple it with the fact that we probably don’t know exactly where we are supposed to turn, so again we’re poking along, holding up traffic trying to make a left turn from the center lane, or some other ignorant move. On top of that, we’ve had our turn signal on for the last three blocks, so by now the drivers behind us know that we don’t have a clue and they’re chomping at the bit trying to find an opening in the traffic to switch lanes and get out from behind us.   That’s about the time we spike our breaks, realizing that this is our turn coming up and if we don’t get over into the turn lane real fast, we’re going to miss the turn. Oh well, I guess we can just go ahead and make the turn from……. CRASH!

I could go on, but I’ve probably already made enough enemy’s for one day. Besides it’s almost rush hour and Sweetie and I have to get to that PRE- early birds special.

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Gramps use’ta say
©R.L.King2012 #422

About: Life’s Truths

 “Common sense don’t jist one day show up,
…ya have to cultivate it.”

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By:  Donna Hale Chandler

Bennie the skeleton came to live in our home the day after Halloween, 2017. When my sweetheart spotted him among the sale items at a local store, he couldn’t resist that cute face —- actually it may have been the 50% off that attracted his attention. Whatever it was the skeleton came home with us where we discovered almost immediately that storing a full sized skeleton takes more than a little space. He couldn’t be folded. He’d have to sit or hang. Hang him in a closet and wet my pants every time I opened the door? No thanks.

Until we could solve this dilemma we sat him on a bar stool at the end of our kitchen counter. The more I looked at him the more I felt he needed a ‘drink’ in front of him – so a beer mug was added to this ‘conversation piece’. Yes, as soon as anyone walked into our home, conversation started, “Yikes, what is that?”

Christmas came and we decided to dress the skeleton for the holiday. Then it began. The Skeleton received a name, Bennie. We started shopping in the children’s section for cute outfits to go with each holiday. Bennie moved from the bar stool to a chair at our dining room table. We talk about him as if he’s a real person and he has quite a following on my Facebook page.

He is the BEST relative ever. He never talks back. He’s never unhappy or bored. He doesn’t complain about his outfit being out of style. And if he ever overstays his welcome, we’ll hang him in the closet.

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Gram use’ta say

“The heaviest thing you ever carry around with you
is a grudge.”

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MILESTONE BIRTHDAYS
©By: Richard L. King

 Sixteen was a great birthday, maybe his favorite of them all,
he got to start driving,,,, meeting with friends at the mall.

Thirteen was also nice, a teenager at long last
and at eighteen he would graduate, putting high school in the past.

At twenty one he was legal some might say he’d come of age.
After that they’re all downhill, you just turn another page.

That’s the way he always thought, until eventually he hit 65,
then he really started believing that finally, he had arrived.

At 60 he got social security, thinking, “the governments paying me,”
after years of paying in, seemed he was getting money free.

He was drawing widower’s benefits, seemed more like a loan,
then he hit 62 and started drawing on his own.

But at 65 he really had it made, as he qualified for Medicare,
with the money he now saved, he could travel most anywhere.

Living in the best of times, he was like a pig in slop
and for the foreseeable future, he’d be viewing life from the top. 

BUT THEN ONE DAY . . . . 

Sweetie got a Jury Summons, causing his greatest exaltation,
cause he’d just turned 70, that’s no longer a part of his equation.

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Gramps use’ta say
©R.L.King2012 #440

About: Management  

“Ain’t never seen an effective boss
who didn’t ruffle some feathers
every now and again.”

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By Donna Hale Chandler

Recently we remodeled our kitchen, making it bigger with more cabinets, etc. and I absolutely love it. I don’t even want to cook in it for fear of getting it dirty. (Any excuse for going out to eat, rather than cook, right?) One kitchen bonus that I didn’t realize we were getting is a super-size junk drawer. In the past we’d crammed our junk into the smallest drawer in the kitchen. But no more, ALL the drawers are wide and deep and wonderful.

I cannot wrap my head around the idea that some people don’t have junk drawers. Being that organized is beyond my comprehension. When they finish with that screw driver, do they actually take it back and place it in the tool box. Unbelievable! Having all types of odds and ends right at your fingertips in a special drawer is much more efficient.

Items in our junk drawer include a couple of different screw drivers, (we must have forgotten we had one in the junk drawer and went to the tool box for another) two containers of Gorilla Glue, ( each opened and half used) a pair of piers, water filters for the Keurig coffee pot, seven coolie cups ( you never know how many people will show up and need to keep their beer cold) four decks of playing cards, (we may have a poker tournament someday and should be prepared) two rolls of scotch tape, (one almost gone) a Halloween decoration that was left out of the Halloween box, (why drag the box back out of the closet when we have a perfectly good junk drawer). The list goes on and on, could easily fill a page but I’m sure you get the idea.

I don’t even know what a few of the items are or what they were used for, but throw them away? Never! We might have need for them someday. (If we remember where they are.)

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Gram use’ta say

“The heaviest thing you ever carry around
with you is a grudge.”

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By: Richard L. King

Several years ago I had cataract surgery on my eyes. Wow! What a change! Wish I’d have had that done years sooner. The only time I need glasses now is to read and if I’m really pressed and the lighting is good I can read without my readers.

After they performed the procedure on my right eye I knew before I left his office that I wanted the left eye done, but the doctor refused to do both eyes at the same time.   They scheduled me for follow up visits for the next 6 or 8 weeks, probably 4 or 5 visits in total. And of course, they charged my insurance company for every damn one of them. Each time I told him I wanted to have the second eye operated on, but he wouldn’t do it yet.

The biggest problem during that time was that I no longer needed my glasses for my right eye, but everything was blurry out of my left eye if I didn’t wear them. If I put my glasses on the situation was the same in reverse. I’m an avid reader, but reading for any length of time was going to cause a nightmare headache.

Then after about two months my doctor agreed to do the other eye. Now the whole damn process is repeated with 4 or 5 more follow-up visits, each for which they bill my insurance company.

It’s a racket, I tell ya. There is absolutely no damn reason he couldn’t have done both eyes within a few short days and saved half of those follow-up visits which my insurance company was on the hook for.

The worst part though was that 6 to 8 weeks before I could see out of both eyes with the same clarity. Even if he wasn’t bleeding my insurance company for every dime he could get out of them he was torturing me unnecessarily.

In the end however, it was all worth it and I highly recommend the surgery. I’d shop around for a good surgeon though and I’d get a handle on just how soon he’ll be willing to do the second eye.

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Gramps use’ta say
R.L.King2012 #439

About: Troubled Times

  “Even the worst of storms
eventually blows over.”