Am I the Only One … who jumps to conclusions?

Does 10:30 p.m. qualify as being the middle of the night? If you’re retired, I’m sure it does. The other night I was soundly sleeping and softly snoring (my sweetie will get a kick out of the SOFTLY snoring part) when my phone rang. Now we all know when the phone rings in the middle of the night, its bad news, VERY bad news,

I grab for the phone, answer, “Hello” and hold my breath. The voice on the other end says, “Hello, this is the Port Saint Lucie Sheriff’s Department.” OH NO, IT’S THE POLICE! This is much worse than I imagined. My mind is whirling a million miles a minute. This is bad. This is very bad? Someone is seriously injured. Someone has been in an accident and been KILLED. This is horrible. Why are they calling me on the phone? For news like this they should be knocking on my door. They should be asking me if there’s someone they can call. They should NOT be giving such heartbreaking news over the phone.

Wait! What is the voice saying? It sounds like a recording. IT IS A RECORDING! The Port Saint Lucie Sheriff Department is telling me that I can take my expired medications to the nearest Walgreen’s Pharmacy for disposal. And, just to make sure I understand how this is accomplished, they leave a phone number for me to call with any questions.

WHAT THE HELL? THEY NEED TO TELL ME THIS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT? I DON’T THINK SO! The police are supposed to be our friends. Well, MY friends do NOT call me at 10:30 and scare the daylights out of me. So, I decide that I’ll just call the good old Port Saint Lucie Sheriff Department back and tell them so.

I had to get OUT of bed, turn on a light, search for my glasses and hunt for a phone book. When listening to the ‘medication disposal advice’ I was too astounded to think clearly enough to write down the number they were spouting. Besides it was dark (I’m sure I mentioned the time).

I actually gave thought to dialing 911. Someone had called 911 from McDonalds recently because they were out of McNuggets. This was a much more serious emergency than that! But, I kept my composure, looked up a non-911 number and called. I told the nice young lady that answered that I had just received a call from the police and that it scared me half to death and if it was a joke, it certainly wasn’t very funny.

She wanted to know who called me and what did they say? I’m sure she was thinking that I’ve received a prank call and she would be able to deny all responsibility. BUT, that was not the case. I explained that the Sheriff’s recording has called me to give me a lesson on how to dispose of expired medication. That turned the tide. She was very apologetic and said she would look into it immediately.

The next day there was an apology letter in the newspaper, addressed to any of the Saint Lucie County residents who had been awaked by a recorded message. The person who programmed it to make calls had gotten confused about the distinction between a.m. and p.m.  Oh dear ……………. They don’t know day from night and they’re protecting us?

I’M GETTING A DOG!!!

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Gram use’ta say

“It is said, there are two rules on winning an argument with a woman.
Neither works.”

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