Tag: funny

Humorous

AM I THE ONLY ONE . . . who wants others to volunteer?

Donna Chandler

VOLUNTEER WORK

Thinking that being a volunteer
would be a rewarding way to spend each day,
I ran and was elected to our Condo Board,
For which you receive no pay.

Now I could get involved
in all the policy setting.
I was sure we could make decisions
that our residents wouldn’t be regretting

My phone rang with my first call.
A resident parked in the wrong space.
To some, it was an extreme emergency.
He needed to be put in the proper place.

Other concerns were nearly as important,
unless you feel you’ve been snubbed.
One lady had new plants outside her window,
while her neighbor had nasty old shrubs.

Mr. Fisher had guests for the week-end.
Someone complained the day they arrived.
What was I thinking when I volunteered?
Suddenly, I began to wonder if I’d survive.

Being on the Board of Directors was not a joy,
the complaints to numerous to court,
particularly in a 55+ community.
Of this I’m thoroughly qualified to vouch.

Each day brings a new challenge
with good news or bad to promptly deliver.
Should I decide to volunteer again,
take my temperature to make sure there’s no fever.

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AM I THE ONLY ONE . . . who has been up close and personal with a baby dinosaur?

Donna Chandler

By: Donna Hale Chandler

Life is never dull when you have a child with thousands of questions to ask.

My daughter was always quite curious,
having one question after another.
Seemed her brain was constantly swirling,
giving pause to her father and mother.

Our trip to Florida was filled with wonder
for a blue eyed little 4-year old blond.
In this strange new and exciting world
she questioned every new sight and sound

Why is the sky such a pretty blue?
Why are the clouds so fluffy and white?
Where does the ocean end?
and why so many stars at night?

Her questions and wonder never ended
As she ran and played in the sunshine.
She’d search for funny stones or shells,
each discovery as thrilling as a gold mine.

One day she came running in all excited,
I followed quickly to see what was in store.
She pointed at a small creature, a tiny gecko.
filled with pride at finding a baby dinosaur!

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AM I THE ONLY ONE . . . who has a list of do’s and don’ts in their head?

Donna Chandler

Donna’s Do’s and Dont’s

I have a lengthly list of items I’ve put together over the years. Here a just a few (perhaps I’ll add more from time to time.)

1.   A kiss is required after each ‘I love you.’

2. The 5 second rule states that if a treat (cookies, etc.) falls on the floor, as long as you get it picked up within 5 seconds, it hasn’t gathered any germs and  can be eaten.

3.   Calories fall out of broken cookies/cakes/pies/etc.

4.   Any baked goods on the Sale Rack have lost their calories.

5.   Birthday cakes absolutely do NOT contain calories.

6.   When a couple is walking, the man should walk closest  to the street.

7.   Do NOT talk to someone when they are in the bathroom.

8.   Always be on time. If you’re going to be late, STAY HOME.

9.   We only have so many heartbeats, don’t waste them on exercise.

10. Do not go grocery shopping when you’re hungry.

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AM I THE ONLY ONE . . .  who has a sweetheart with a warped sense of humor?

Donna Chandler
By: Donna Hale Chandler

I could give you many examples of what I’m referring to and perhaps some will appear in our blog or on our podcast at a later date, but for now, I will relive a recent trip to the airport.

We had an early morning flight and were rushing through the terminal to get to our gate.  As usual my sweetheart’s longer legs and faster pace put him a few feet ahead of me.  Our time was running short so I was trying my best to keep up as I pulled my carry-on bag along. 

Sweetheart had just gotten off the moving walkway and I was actually catching up.  As I step from the walkway, I stumbled a bit but quickly regained my footing. Without missing a beat or cracking a smile, Sweetheart called loudly over his shoulder, “I TOLD YOU, YOU SHOULDN’T DRINK SO MUCH BEFORE BREAKFAST!”

I probably left skid marks as I came to a screeching halt sending imaginary daggers at his head.  It felt as if the entire airport was suddenly frozen, people stopped, the silence was deafening and I had no witty remark to throw back at him.

However, he knows all about ‘pay backs’ and I never forget because I owe him several.  Then again, what would I do without him?  I have to admit, there is never a dull moment and he makes me smile everyday.