A few years back, Sweetie and I were on a cruise. One night, as we were in our cabin preparing to meet up with our traveling companions, I stuck my foot in my mouth. This poem probably doesn’t need much more explaining.
CRUISIN & LOSIN
©By: R.L.King – From the book Memories & Time ©2017
They were preparing for a function, the occasion doesn’t matter,
but he got himself in trouble, tiny cabin, nowhere to scatter.
Sweetie and he were on a cruise to the Caymans and Belize
and several other places on the high and mighty seas.
She was getting dressed while he was watching a little TV
She asked him a question and he had to get up to see.
Looking in the mirror her butt prominently displayed,
to the question she had asked, his answer was delayed.
Men, we’ve all been there, conspicuously on “the spot”
likely you’d have an answer, but the correct one? …Likely not!
“Do these shorts make my butt look big,” came at him out of the blue.
If you’ve got the perfect answer, my hat is off to you.
He’d contemplated similar questions, seemingly dozens of times.
He’d decided they only ask it, when they want to blow our minds.
Knowing her sense of humor and that there is no perfect reply,
he thought he’d make her smile, put a twinkle in her eye.
Well, it’s a no-win situation, that’s the best that we can say,
better to keep your mouth shut if you’d like to see another day.
It wouldn’t be called “no-win” were there a way you could escape,
but they were 8 decks up, without his Superman cape.
Innocence? …He’d lost it a good many years ago,
so now he’s pleading guilty to crimes he still don’t know.
But this day he messed up, trying to give her a friendly poke,
he said, “It’s not the shorts,” but he said it as a joke.
“They were preparing for a function, the occasion doesn’t matter,
but he got himself in trouble, tiny cabin, nowhere to scatter.”
Gramps use’ta say
“Unfortunately, by the time we reach
an age where we know the score,
the game is damn near over.”
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